Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Sit with Mussold

I think I’m pretty good at NPCs. I worked in retail for the largest part of my adult life, and have had conversations with hundreds of people. I do voices. I do quirks. Yet the Oddest thing happened while running my second game of Into the Odd, which I wish I could say I wasn’t prepared to handle.

We use Rolz to play, and at some point I discovered the command to generate an NPC. After a long hex crawl (which I honestly kind of fucked up), the players ended up in Hopesend which put me back into my comfort zone. They had a lot of questions and love talking to random people on the streets, so it was only inevitable that they would come upon Mussold Schawnpfalz.

Name: Mussold Schwanpfalz, Occupation: Shipwright, Traits: strong, healer, Psychology: fetishizes sitting down, Age: 69, Hair: shaved red, Eyes: blue, Social Ties: sister (healer, openly despised by Mussold), spouse (enduring, openly despised by Mussold), History: became chronically ill at 18, had a minor accident at 20, witnessed a murder at 26, got away with a major crime at 35, was exiled at 62

I hate it when people drop random philosophy quotes, but I feel the following statement from Sir Anthony Ray (often incorrectly attributed to Abraham Lincoln) is relevant here.
“I like big butts and I cannot lie.”

Mussold loves to invite people to sit around him and accidentally sounds like the worst impression of Tim Curry you can imagine. I can only assume the reason he despises his spouse is that she prefers standing. I wonder what major crime he got away with. Pretending to be a chair? He asks the party to sit down while they speak, and Miles shuffles around uncomfortably.

Miles: I think I’ll stand.
Mussold: Groans
Poco: I sit down.
Mussold: Moans

I decide to give Mussold the honor of relaying the status of the party’s rival and betrayer Barnabold. Barnabold sat with him, along with his 3 companions, not too long ago. The party grill him for information on Barnabolds new band, however he is only able to recall the general shapes of their asses. Blood runs from his nose.

Will we be seeing more of Mussold? The party are hitting the high seas to chase Barnabold into the new world, but if they ever come back who knows? Mussold may be waiting around, sitting pretty.

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