Thursday, February 15, 2018

Gun Hexes for Into the Old West

I was putting together a list of magical gun effects, when I decided it was much more interesting to have gun curses. Listed below are the kind of afflictions a witch might place on your gun. Guns can usually be cured by a gun doctor if treated within 1 to 2 weeks, but after that the curse may become permanent.

1 Humphrey's Snack Attack
Regardless of what kind of ammunition you load, the gun continues to shoot peanuts. These peanuts deal no damage, but they kind of sting at close range.

2 Skyward Sniper
Bullets fired seem normal, but after about a foot will start flying straight into the air, far off into space. Shots fired are impaired unless your target is directly above you.

3 Guntongue
The gun no longer fires bullets, but instead fires out a string or profane insults. Luckily, this hex is easy to remedy. You just need to clean the gun's mouth out with soap.

4 Isolda's Eternal Gunman
The gun is stuck in your hand by an unrelenting force. You can still use it, of course, but try using anything else with that hand of yours.

5 Thirsty Man's Madness
Your gun now squirts water. Also it's salt water so you can't even drink it.

6 The Friendly Assassin
Each time you intend to pull the trigger, you are compelled to shout a warning out to whoever may be around. It's usually something like, "GET DOWN," or "WATCH OUT."

7 Action Hero Hex
You are unable to pull the trigger without saying a witty one-liner. If the one-liner is terrible, the attack is considered impaired.

8 Lacracia's Turnabout Bullets
Bullets fired loop around and fly at whoever fired the gun. Particularly dangerous, unless you you're shooting people behind you.

9 Garden Gun
The gun fires seeds, which after a few months (with enough sunlight and water) will sprout a bullet flower.

10 Gunman's Impotent Rage
Bullets fired always peter out and fall to the ground after a few feet. The gun's still lethal within a yard or two, but outside of that even the peanut curse is better.

11 The Insatiable Monster Mouth
The gun fires normal bullets and operates fine, however you have no idea where these bullets come from because the chamber has been replaced with a mouth that constantly begs for water. No water, no bullets.

12 Pervert's Only Shot
The gun ejects a strange sticky substances that latches on the target and will attempt to reel them in like a fish. Certain particular weirdos don't even consider this one a curse.

13 Queen's Curse
The gun fires bees, which could be a useful method of attack if the bees weren't impartial and just as eager to sting you as anyone else.

14 Lacracia's Coward Bullets
Bullets fired only hit people who aren't looking at you. For anyone who can see you, the bullets pass cleanly through them.

15 Slippery Hand Hex
Every time this gun is fired, it falls out of your hands. It doesn't matter if you nail the damn thing to your wrist--it will find a way to wrestle itself loose and fall to the ground.

16 Underwear Snare
The gun will only work if you are stripped down to your underwear. You have no idea how the gun knows this, and for whatever reason it doesn't work if you're naked.

17 Poet's Curse
Everytime you fire the gun, you must recite the phrase, "I shoot the gun," and then follow it with a line that rhymes. It has to be a different line every time, or the gun misfires.

18 Beuracracy Bullets
Each time the trigger is pulled, a small contract ejects from the barrel that must be read, signed, and returned to the barrel. After this has been done, a bullet will fire within 3-6 minutes.

19 Nosey Neighbor's Nightmare
Each time the gun is fired, your nose gets longer.

20 Elzandra's Metronome
This gun sends out a never-ending clicking sound that repeates infinitely, and can only be fired to the beat.

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